


Strangers in Tokyo-3

by BoreasAnemos



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Мастер и Маргарита - Михаил Булгаков | The Master and Margarita - Mikhail Bulgakov
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Deal with a Devil, Ensemble Cast, F/F, F/M, Late Night Conversations, Magical Realism, Non-binary character, Original Character(s), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Second Chances, Self-Discovery, Supernatural Elements, Supernatural Intervention, Teenagers, Time Shenanigans, Visions in dreams, Wish Fulfillment, non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoreasAnemos/pseuds/BoreasAnemos
Summary: On a fairly normal day, a group of strangers arrives at Tokyo-3. At first, everything seems normal - an inspection at NERV, new faces at school. Then, odd things start to happen to Pilots and NERV workers.This is a Neon Genesis Evangelion / Master and Margarita crossover fanfiction, set in the NGE TV series continuity. Familiarity with Neon Genesis Evangelion is necessary to enjoy the work, as it is a fairly typical fanfiction; familiarity with Master and Margarita is not necessary but will enhance the experience.
Relationships: Akagi Ritsuko/Ibuki Maya, Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Comments: 25
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters from either of the works. This is a work of a pastiche.

There are many beginnings to this story.

Some say it all began when the Katsuragi Expedition woke Adam in Antarctica and caused the Second Impact. Others say it began when one Shinji Ikari came to Tokyo-3, called upon by his father who had abandoned him a decade before. Others say it was when the beings later known as Angels came to this world in the First Impact, eons ago. Even others say it was when the world was created or when a certain angel – not an Angel, though – said “no” to the Creator for the first time – or perhaps when the serpent tempted the first humans on the orders from the Creator.

Truth is that each of those people could be right in their own manner, and each of those people would be wrong.

Tales can have many beginnings, and this tale is no different. But to tell the tale, the narrator must choose one of the beginnings.

And thus, this tale begins on the day on which several strangers came to Tokyo-3.


	2. Act I, scene I: The day the strangers came to Tokyo-3

Sun was slowly rising over Tokyo-3; the few maintenance crews that worked in the dead of the night, keeping the place ready for others, were gone. A trickle of people that started soon after sunup slowly became a stream. As time passed, that stream turned into a river.

Three people emerged from a shrine atop the mountain next to the city, having just paid respects to the gods guarding this city; a responsibility that was just as new to the gods as was the city itself.

The most visible was the tall figure with a swarthy complexion and black wavy hair reaching their shoulders. Their eyes – set in a face without a trace of facial hair, a face both soft and firm – were of different colors: one of them green, the other black. The face itself was a bit asymmetric, enough to make everyone take a second look, but not enough to make them look more than just a bit odd. The person was clad in a black suit which was put together with pieces coming from various gentlemanly official attires from different periods of XIX and XX century. Their odd style was supplemented by a black cane with an ivory head of a poodle atop of it, a seemingly necessary accessory, as the figure was walking with a slight limp.

The second was a young girl of a similar complexion and thick, straight black hair collected in a long braid that fell on her back; her face was round and smiling. She wore a short white skirt, a tank top in the same color, and no shoes – and walked in a way that made the impression of barely touching the ground. An ankh pendant, looking like it was made of pure darkness, was hanging on her neck, set against the whiteness of her clothing. Her dark eyes, set under black and bushy eyebrows, were gleaming and darting around in awe.

The third was a really big and equally black cat, walking as an old cat would – carefully, with great dignity and pretended indifference to the surroundings. The yellowish, far-too-intelligent eyes were scanning everything; an occasional twitch of whiskers indicated finding a new smell, a new detail, a new sensation. The only thing that could be seen as off about the animal was the fact that the cat was walking on the two hind legs, while still maintaining the grace that was the birthright of all felines.

The trio passed the torii and descended the stairs, stopping to behold the cityscape of Tokyo-3 as it was awakening from the night’s slumber.

“Beautiful city, isn’t it?”, the black-clad figure broke the silence with words spoken in a soft alto voice.

“Forgive me, messire, but I think Moscow was better”, the cat protested, scowling. “It had far more life, even if a lot of it was grey and dirty. This place is just… dull.”

“We barely arrived here, Behemoth. Give it time”, the figure objected. “You may come to like it.”

“I like it, madame”, the girl took advantage of the moment of the cat’s pondering. “I think it is quite alive. Surprisingly alive. I thought this shrine was at the lake, thought…” she suspended her voice, pondering.

The figure looked at her with disapproval. “It was – until the urban sprawl of Tokyo-3 replaced the town of Hakone. You were supposed to read up on this place”, the soft voice acquired a scolding note.

“I’m sorry, madame”, the girl’s shoulders slumped. “I did! It’s just… people were far more interesting than the history.”

The figure sighed and shook their head. “Why I am not surprised”, they let out a sigh. “No matter. I shall know you by your fruits”, they smiled.

A moment of silence descended between them, broken after a few seconds by the cat’s grumble. “This city is too artificial, too clean. It’s almost _sterile_. It never really _grew_ ”, he frowned and sniffed the air. “It was _made_ , built _over_ , it’s hiding a disease just underneath that shiny surface. The only good I see in it is the potential to stir chaos”, the cat concluded with disgust on his face and only a hint of a crooked smile.

“And chaos we shall have, cat”, the figure reassured him. “But not blindly. Fortunately, I believe you know where to look for the needed information”, the figure stated with certainty in their voice.

“We do, and so we will, messire. You can trust me on that”, the cat smiled, eliciting a raised eyebrow from the black-clad figure. “Our dear Auset”, he looked at the girl who smiled an uneasy smile in response, “starts today, so does the boy. I will begin in the evening”, he finished. The girl nodded to that.

“The assassin?” they asked in the same voice.

“Exactly where you commanded him to be”, the cat replied. Silence fell upon them as they were watching wave after wave of humans passing below them. Finally, the cat spoke up. “Messire, I have a doubt, though”, he half-asked, half-reported.

“Speak, cat. We still have time”, the dark figure allowed, their voice still a soft alto. “They don’t know of us yet.”

“You seem to be taking awfully lot on yourself this time”, the cat’s voice was almost concerned. “Why is it so? Can’t you rely on us, as you always had?”

The dark figure let out a sigh. When they spoke, their voice was a tenor. “This is important, cat. It cost me already, it will affect the world more than my usual excursions and your mayhem, and… I want to touch some of those souls myself. Is this enough of an answer to you?”

“Yes, messire”, the cat bowed. The girl, listening in carefully, nodded and bowed as well.

The figure took a deep breath and shifted their posture slightly. The very mix-and-match, anachronistic suit changed into a modern businesswoman pants-and-jacket suit. The cat scowled at the sight.

“Must we adjust so much to the times, messire?” he asked with an uneasy voice.

The figure smiled. “It’s all smoke and mirrors, cat. I don’t expect **you** to wear a human form… but I shall act as I see fit”, they replied, their voice still a tenor.

“Yes, messire”, the cat sighed.

“Is Natasha ready?” the dark figure inquired.

“Prim and proper, as you commanded”, the cat replied, his voice still dejected. “She is not happy about that.”

The girl chuckled. “She’s never happy when she needs to dress conservatively. Isn’t it in our blood, madame?” she asked in a playful manner.

“A trait of your kind, yes”, the dark figure admitted. “That propriety won’t last, and she knows that quite well. She is just being contrary, as a proper witch should be. Auset”, they looked at the girl, “I expect you to be proper as well… at least in the beginning.”

“Yes, madame. I will”, the girl bowed her head and took a deep breath. Her face focused, she moved her hands along her body from her neck down to her knees; her clothing transformed into a nurse uniform; the shoes were still missing, though. “Is this proper enough for you, madame?” she asked the figure with a hint of worry in her voice.

“It will suffice… for now”, they nodded in response. “Let’s go, then”, the black-clad figure smiled again and started to descend the stairs leading down to Tokyo-3. “Today, it begins”, they spoke in a voice changed to almost a baritone and their smile turned into a crooked grin, exposing far too many of their perfect, pearly teeth. “And may it end as we will it to end.”

Both the girl and the cat followed with their smiles almost equally wide.

The sun rose above the unsuspecting city as another day of life in Tokyo-3 began.


	3. Act I, scene II: The morning the NERV started to panic

Early morning in NERV Headquarters began slow, as it was prone to when there was no Angel attack or any other imminent threat. Most of the senior staff – except the Commander and the Vice-Commander – were night owls, with Major Katsuragi being barely able to communicate in the mornings and Doctor Akagi working at odd hours – and, as a result, being responsible for 20% of her department coffee consumption. The rest of the staff had varying preferences – but all of them were dutifully on their stations, working on tactical systems, data analysis, maintenance, or any other of thousands of responsibilities that made the workings of NERV possible.

The facility has recovered remarkably from the recent Angel incursion that almost subverted the MAGI system; there was almost no mark left of it – except the chronic lack of sleep the technical department suffered in the wake of unholy repair schedule the Commander had forced upon them. But this was the price of working at NERV, a place where labor laws were polite agreements at best – but the pay and benefits were far better than in any other organization on the face of the post-Impact Earth.

Major Katsuragi was sitting behind her desk, her coffee barely sipped – it came fresh from the recently replaced coffee maker. The new unit was making far better brew than the last one, but it also made it far, far hotter, leading to several cases of unpleasant burns. Due to that fact, very little caffeine entered the Major’s system. But all that quickly ceased to matter; one of the messages that found its way to her inbox woke her up better than quadruple-espresso IV drip would.

“Why the fuck, why now, why…” she stared at the Very Official E-mail From A Very Serious Institution with disbelieving eyes. Her faint hope that it was a prank – or a hoax – was quickly negated by the mail client confirming it came directly from the United Nations.

She took a deep breath and picked up the phone. She hated to call that specific number; it made her nervous.

“Good morning, Commander. I apologize for calling at this – of course, sir. Katsuragi reporting: I just received information that today, at 11:00 sharp, an inspector from United Nations will arrive”, she paused, listening to the reply. “No sir, there was no advance warning”, she paused again. “No, sir, this office does not need to warn us, not by law. The inspector comes from the UN Ethics Office”, she concluded and waited for a response that was not coming. “Sir?” she tried again after a few seconds. “Yes, sir. I will arrange everything”, she confirmed. “No, sir, I don’t think this is connected to the recent intrusion. No, there are no specific requirements, the delegation is staying in Tokyo-3 on their own accord, we are not informed where.” She listened in again. “Yes, sir, we do…” she replied, looking at the attached picture of an oddly asymmetrical, but still handsome – or beautiful? – face. The non-matching eyes specifically drew the Major’s attention: the green one seemed kind of manic; the black one seemed dead. “The inspector’s name is Voland. Alex Voland.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the initial run of this story. This is, essentially, a pilot that is intended to see whether this concept will gather any following. For the next few months, this story will be updated once a month, on the first day of the month. Afterward, depending on the interest, I will re-think this schedule and correlate it with my other works in progress.


	4. Act I, scene III: The first day at school

“…and I would like you all to greet your new colleague”, the old teacher looked at his notes. “Ti-mo-ti…” he tried.

“Timothy Siebel, sir”, the blonde boy dressed in a uniform definitely ill-fitted for his tall and thin body corrected the teacher cheerfully and put a katakana transcription of his name on the blackboard. “But my first name is usually shortened to Timmy”, he addressed the class in perfect Japanese and put an approximation of that on the board as well.

“All right… Siebel-kun, you came here from Germany?” the teacher inquired.

“Yes sir, my father is a German diplomat and my mother was an American”, he explained. “Hence my first name.”

“I see. Horaki-san, assign your new classmate a place and enroll him in all the usual duties”, the teacher commanded, shaking his head.

“Yes, sir”, the Class Representative confirmed. “Here… Siebel-kun”, she pointed to one of the free seats in the middle of the class. The boy thanked her with a charming smile and an appropriate small bow; some girls frowned – the boy certainly knew his manners, a welcome change in comparison to many of their classmates. Still, he was a stranger and a foreigner. But, on the other hand, he was a quite handsome stranger and a very polite foreigner.

Once the formalities were done, the lesson started as usual. “Good. Now, open your books on page thirty…”

***

The lunchtime classroom was noisy, as it was prone to be; the attention of the majority was centered on the newcomer. Questions about his origins and hobbies dominated, of course, but his nearly perfect Japanese was raising most eyebrows. He patiently explained that yes, he was from a diplomatic family, yes, his father had been transferred here, yes, his mother had died years ago and he had a stepmother, and his language skills came from the fact that his father is certain that he will follow into his footsteps. Equally patiently he explained that he had few hobbies as they saw them, but he liked to play the violin.

Outside the storm of questions and waves of answers, there were a few people who were not that curious or otherwise uninvolved – and that included all the pilots. Rei Ayanami was never actively interested in anything that was happening, even if nobody could deny that she keenly watched all movements. Shinji Ikari preferred to avoid crowds of any kind, especially if they involved a lot of noise. And Asuka Langley Soryu was annoyed by the fact that nobody paid any attention to **her** – and was thus busy haughtily and ostentatiously ignoring everyone.

“Hey, Shin-man, why aren’t you bothering the new guy?” Touji entered the class.

“Why should I?” Shinji turned his attention from the manga in his hands. “He’s from Germany, Asuka should be interested, if anyone. I’ll talk to him when I won’t have to win a battle to the death just to ask a question”, he shrugged.

“Fair point”, Touji shrugged and chuckled noticing that Kensuke was taking advantage of the situation and taking photos of the girls who became a bit less careful in all the commotion that ensued around the newcomer. “Say, I know you’re exposed to sexy babes at all times at home”, he started, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Shinji. “Don’t deny it, we all saw Misato’s size; but you might want to check out the new nurse assistant. I just got back from my post-injury check-up and I say she’s a **babe**.”

“I’m perfectly healthy, I don’t need to visit the nurse. And **you** tend to wolf-whistle half the girls you see. So, forgive me if I don’t take your opinion seriously”, Shinji retorted. “Also, I don’t see a handprint on your face nor any sign of suffering as you walk, so maybe she’s not that much of a babe as you say?”

Touji scowled. “She was a world champion at dodging. She kept smiling and moving around me, but it was impossible to touch her. She’d be worth a slap, I’m telling you!”

Shinji shrugged. “I don’t know which of you is worse, Kensuke with his photos or you with your rushing hands”, he sighed. “Well, you are what you are. Just don’t tell me to be the same”, he finished.

“Sure, man”, Touji shrugged and leaned back on his chair. “You already won – you live with two hot babes under one roof! Sure, one is a bit old and the other is a total bitch, but–”

His elaboration was cut short by a book that collided with his head and made him fall back.

“Suzuhara, are you all right?” Hikari was first to react despite her focus being directed elsewhere.

Touji just gave her thumbs-up from the floor, climbed up, approached Asuka, and dropped the book on her desk with a loud _thump_. “That’s yours, I believe. Nice aim… devil.”

“Serves you well”, she noted off-handedly, ignoring Hikari’s scolding glare and Shinji’s disapproving look.

Touji just scoffed and went back to his desk.

Timmy, free from the attention for a few seconds in which everyone turned away to see the source of the commotion, smiled. _‘That is an interesting start’_ , he thought to himself, his internal smile far wider than the one he chose to show _. ‘Oh, this is going to be **fun** , so much fun…’_

***

“All right, Auset-san…” the school nurse started and paused. “Are you sure you want me to call you like this?” the woman inquired. “It feels disrespectful. Wouldn’t you prefer ‘Percāra-san’?” she managed to pronounce the word slowly while looking at both the Roman lettering and the kana transcription on the assignment documents.

The inquired girl smiled. “It’s how I would be addressed home, without any honorific, too. I’m used to that”, she explained. “Besides, I like my first name. More than that last name I never really chose”, her smile turned sheepish. “Just call me ‘Auset’, Toiguchi-sama, and we’ll be fine”, she added with a chirpy voice.

The nurse took several deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm her heartbeat down. The girl was dropped on her head today by the right of some obscure training assignment she seemingly forgot about – and that was supposed to take two weeks. She was anything but happy about that; the bureaucracy associated with it would likely be a pain, not to mention she expected the newcomer to require guidance and a lot of informal warnings – or perhaps even protection from students’ behavior. The work of the school nurse was fraught with peril – after all, teenagers were the second most dangerous age group to care for, at least in her experience. She already saw in her mind’s eye the amount of babysitting that would be needed, along with explaining every single thing to that clueless trainee. And one from a different country, to boot!

But the girl that wandered in first thing in the morning, seemingly without a worry in the world, and since then had already proven to be almost the opposite of the school nurse’s worries. Of course, she needed to have the ropes shown, especially when it came to the rather complex filing system – but she seemed to have found herself quickly. In addition to that, she had some reasonable knowledge of medicine, possessed an uncanny ability to dodge the students’ advances, not to mention a warm, caring smile she had for all of them.

The last one had been a mixed blessing, though. Chisaki Toiguchi, aged twenty-five, female, very straight, engaged, and set to be married within a year – the same woman seemed to have developed butterflies in her stomach every time her new charge smiled at her. She was absolutely sure there was no ill intent behind it – but the effect was there, strong as she never experienced from another woman.

“Toiguchi-sama?”

The girl’s voice broke her out of her reverie. “Yes, yes. Of course, Auset”, she tried to cover her confusion with a smile. “Where was I… right. We don’t have any further scheduled visits for today; if there are no emergencies, I usually read up on the medical literature or work through the paperwork backlog. You could, possibly, study?”

Auset smiled back at her. “Gladly, if you would allow that, but I didn’t bring any books today. I wasn’t expecting to have any downtime”, she explained in a softly dejected voice. “Can I help you with paperwork, then?”

The nurse nodded automatically. “Yes, of course. The quarterly health report is due in a week. It’s halfway done, all we need to do is to go through the remaining files and enter the injury statistics and such in the computer. Can you do this?”

“Sure!” the girl jumped up cheerfully and dropped into the computer chair, eyeing the stack with a curious eye.

Chisaki took another deep breath. Those were going to be either very pleasant or very nightmarish two weeks.

***

Timothy Siebel was used to the attention. This was not his first time in Voland’s entourage, and he was a popular boy in school back when he was living his life. But the sheer amount of attention he encountered today exceeded his expectations. By the end of the day, he managed to set up three separate one-on-one dates – without calling them so, of course, just ‘going to the ice cream parlor’ or ‘having the city shown to the newcomer’ – and one double date where he was quite certain the other ‘boy’ was going to mysteriously cancel just beforehand.

Of course, this only meant he would have more fun than expected – and had more to report to his boss. For a moment he pondered whether to walk into the obvious ambush at the school gate, set by three less brave girls, but then he decided that would be spreading himself too thin. After all, he had enough initial contacts – and none of his ultimate date-or-befriend targets had expressed any interest yet. Or, more precisely, none that would allow him to extend an invitation without raising suspicion or giving offense.

 _‘I guess I’ll have to work around that limitation… it just makes it a better challenge_ , he smiled to himself as he stepped between the trees richly planted in the school’s courtyard. A few seconds later he emerged from a shadow on the neighboring street. _‘Time to change and then it’s the first date… let’s see how far my charm will carry me… and how much dear Etsuko knows about the red-headed girl and the red-eyed one.’_

With that thought in his mind, he started walking towards the café, his uniform replaced piece-by-piece by more casual, if no less proper attire of brown pants, sand-colored shirt, and matching shoes every time he stepped through a shadow.

***

“And that’s all for the day, Auset”, the school nurse declared, her voice nervous. “I need to talk to you, though”, she added.

“Oh?” the young girl looked up from wrapping up her work; her eyes were full of worry. “Is there a problem?”

 _‘There will be if you don’t stop looking at me with those big, beautiful, pleading eyes’_ , Chisaki Toiguchi thought before collecting herself. “No. I mean, yes. I mean, no”, she concluded. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, unable to withstand the worried glare. “Can I ask you to wear something with lesser cleavage tomorrow?” she finally managed. “That boy was in clear pain, but his eyes were glued to your… chest”, she explained.

Auset blinked. “Well, it made the treatment far easier, and I think it gave him some relief from pain, yes?” she tilted her head. “Was that inappropriate?”

“A bit”, the nurse released another held breath. “Let’s not give them nosebleeds, shall we?”

“All right”, Auset nodded her head. “I will find something less revealing”, she smiled widely. “Thank you for your guidance today, Toiguchi-sama!”

Chisaki took yet another deep breath. It did not help. “My pleasure. Now, you can go. You’ll finish tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

The girl left. Chisaki Toiguchi stood there for a while longer, trying to collect her thoughts. She was quite certain it was some prank – be it from the administration or from the gods. The latter seemed more probable – which made it even worse.

 _‘Well, everything happens for a reason, doesn’t it, Chisaki? Tomorrow’s another day, and you will carry on. And today, your boyfriend is coming over, no excuses, and you’ll rip the clothes off him the moment he steps through your door’_ , she decided with a blush before closing the office for the day.

***

The long-abandoned terrace overlooking the city was bathed in the red light of the setting sun. The dark-clad figure sat on a dilapidated chair; they looked up as a teenage boy in a school uniform and a twenty-something girl in a nurse coat approached.

“Report”, the figure spoke in a soft but commanding alto voice.

“Observation established, boss”, the boy started. “Targets have been identified, the cover is set, I recruited informants, and already talked to some of them. I will establish contact as soon as it is reasonable.”

“Good”, the figure smiled and turned to the girl. “And you?”

“Cover established, madame”, she bowed. “I established contact with one of the target’s friends. And I have complete and unsupervised access to medical files.”

“Even better. You know what we’re looking for”, the figure commented. “Continue, both of you”, they nodded. “Report tomorrow. Now, leave me.”

“Yes, boss!” the boy turned and sprinted down the steep, unmaintained stairs.

“Madame…” the girl started once they were alone.

“Yes, Auset?” the figure asked in a far lower, grating voice as they raised an eyebrow at the minor insubordination.

“I… I think I like the person I am working with now at school. Is this a problem?” she asked, her voice nervous.

The figure smirked. “You’re a witch, Auset”, they replied, matter-of-factly. “It is in your nature to feel passion, stir chaos, and break hearts. You do my will… but as long as this is ensured beyond any doubt, you do your own. Remember that order, and fear not.”

The girl seemed lost in thought for a moment. Finally, she smiled. “Yes, madame.”

“Good”, the figure smiled. “Now, off with you”, they waved a gloved hand.

The girl bowed, straddled her broom, and flew into the encroaching night.

Voland closed their eyes and rested their head against the chair’s headrest. Their thoughts wandered to the events of the day, a day they spent in a less enjoyable, but certainly productive manner in an equally important place. A tired smile crawled on their lips as the memories flooded back.


	5. Act I, scene IV: The first day at NERV – the morning

_Earlier that day_

Gendo Ikari was not happy. Of course, some would say the last time he was happy was a few weeks ago, just after Sahaquiel’s demise, when he actually praised his son for his performance; others would move that back to ten years ago, to the last dinner with his late wife; yet others would put that time closer to “never”. Of course, none of those people would say it out loud if there was any chance of the man in question hearing them.

The truth was a little bit more complicated than that: Gendo Ikari was **capable** of feeling happiness, even if nowadays it was usually a function of his satisfaction from the progress of his Scenario and his control over the overall situation.

But considering that the current situation was far from being under his perfect control, it was logical that he was equally far from being happy.

***

_NERV HQ staff conference room, 9:58_

To say that the whole NERV HQ was like a disturbed hornets’ nest would be an overstatement – but the higher echelons and their assistants certainly felt certain apprehension when they were entering the conference room for the 10:00 briefing called by an urgent 9:17 message – signed by the Commander himself. They immediately noticed two strangers standing in the room, people whose heavily formal appearance stood out in the sea of uniforms and semi-formal attire that was the norm in the NERV work environment.

The first one was a person in their late thirties, perhaps early forties. They had an androgynous face, long, dark hair brushed elegantly beyond their ears; they were wearing black boots with a high heel (Major Katsuragi’s first thought was to call them ‘cavalry boots’; all they lacked were spurs), an impeccable black gentleman’s suit (Doctor Akagi noticed that this suit likely cost more than a public servant should be able to earn in a year) with an equally impeccable, almost shining white shirt underneath, finished with a dark crimson tie. Their other accessories were a lady’s watch (apparently golden) and a large (certainly golden) signet ring with a red stone in the shape of a dog’s head; the picture was made complete with a black cane tipped with a similar, but the far more detailed head of a dog (Lieutenant Ibuki immediately recognized it as a poodle that had a very good hairdresser). They seemed engaged in a hushed discussion with the elderly professor, but the watchful gaze of mismatched eyes seemed to carefully scan those that entered.

The other was a woman in her twenties, clearly performing the role of an assistant. She immediately made an impression of being a little old-fashioned; to call her attire “formal” would be an understatement: it started with low-heel grey shoes, continued with old-style, backline stockings, went on with a gray pencil skirt that began just above the knees, progressed to a white, well-fitted blouse with minimal adorning, and ended with an emerald cravat; her lightly copper-toned blonde hair was held in a perfect bun with a bone-white clasp (Doctor Akagi noticed with a small shiver that judging from the color and texture it could actually **be** bone). Her other accessories were scarce – a simple ladies’ watch (that seemed to be silver), tiny earrings (that seemed to be made of silver-set emeralds), and a small leather briefcase (that seemed to be far too luxurious for a public servant’s assistant).

“Thank you for coming”, Gendo Ikari started from his place at the head of the table, silencing any discussion immediately. “Please be seated”, he requested and waited for everyone to take their places before resuming. “We, as the NERV Headquarters in particular and NERV in general, are currently a subject to inspection from the United Nations Ethics Office. The inspector will explain the details”, he gestured towards the dark-haired figure in the seat at his right hand. “Inspector?”

The indicated person slowly rose, buttoning the well-fitting jacket on the way. “Thank you, commander”, they started, brushing the long hair behind their ears as their eyes scanned the auditorium. “My name is Voland, and I am, as the Commander was kind to say”, he nodded towards Gendo Ikari, “an inspector of the United Nations. This is my assistant, Natasha Prokofyevna Liubeznaya”, he indicated the woman at his right hand. She stood up for a short moment and bowed a shallow bow, her richly green eyes silently watching everyone present, never stopping for more than a split second on each – but successfully unsettling everyone as their turn came to be focused on. “She will be helping me in this audit, and I expect that her questions and inquires will be given the same consideration as mine”, they continued as the woman sat down, opened her briefcase, took an equally elegant clipboard out, and returned to watching the assembled personnel. The fact that she started to take short notes in an odd script after every look momentarily thickened the atmosphere in the room; under the circumstances, the fact that she was making the notes with a quill earned only a few glances.

“That being said” the inspector resumed, commanding everyone’s attention once more, “I reassure you there is nothing for you to worry about, as long as the high standards of the United Nations are maintained”, they went on. Doctor Akagi spared a quick look at the Commander’s face and made a mental note to never play poker with him. “I am certain that if something interesting to the Ethics Committee is happening here, it will be uncovered, and those who contribute to that detection will have my gratitude. Of course, I hope there is nothing to uncover; we all are aware of the stance the Japanese people take towards ethics”, the inspector continued, their voice unwavering. Misato Katsuragi tried her best to contain the twitch on her face after hearing those words; she noticed she was not the only one. “Thus, I expect your full cooperation. The Commander”, Voland nodded towards Gendo Ikari again, “had promised me that already, and I hope that your compliance will allow me to complete this assignment quickly and efficiently. Thank you for your attention, and I look forward to working with you”, they finished with the slightest nod. “Commander?”

“Thank you, Inspector”, the Commander’s voice was deceptively calm as he stood up and addressed the assembled personnel. “The inspection’s schedule has already been approved, and your input was taken into account to both ensure the unbroken operations of NERV Headquarters as well as to satisfy the Inspector’s requests. The section heads will be responsible for assigning the appropriate tasks across the departments. As the Inspector said, I promised your full cooperation. Consider the good of the NERV and our role in the mission of the United Nations. Are there any questions?”

Shaking of heads were the only responses.

“I expect this endeavor to go smoothly, then. Dismissed”, the Commander adjourned the meeting.

***

No single person who could count and was aware of the current socio-economic situation would deny that NERV paid well, had great employer benefits, and provided great stability in the trying times of the post-Impact world. But just as much, no one could deny that working here was stressful even on the best day.

And today was quite far from _best_. It was almost as if the gods have chosen today to turn their unfavorable gaze towards the unsuspecting personnel.

The incidents began relatively small.

***

_NERV HQ main cafeteria, 10:35_

“…and this is our main cafeteria”, Major Katsuragi explained to the esteemed guests.

“Hardly a vital system, Major”, the inspector remarked. “Why are we here?”

The Major allowed herself only a momentary frown. “For two reasons, Inspector”, she replied. “First, I am not aware of any arrangements regarding your meal schedule–”

“Do not worry about that”, Voland spoke in a calm voice as they raised their hand in an interrupting gesture. “We are self-catering. We cannot accept any invitations from NERV if we are to remain impartial.”

“–and for that occasion, you might be interested in the cafeteria”, Katsuragi explained, suppressing her irritation. “Second, it’s on our way to the elevator that will take us to our first stop proper: the Cages.”

“I see”, Voland nodded; their assistant took a note in her notebook. “Please proceed.”

“Yes, Inspecto–”

A thunderous sound of broken dishes, scattered cutlery, and general havoc interrupted her and made all the heads turn towards the kitchen. A very pale boy, no older than twenty, emerged from the kitchen and pressed the emergency button. “Medical assistance to Catering Station Gimel! Two injured! Nagai reporting!”

“A common occurrence, Major?” Voland asked impassively.

“Not to my knowledge, Inspector”, the Major retorted, her voice distressed. “It’s the first one I witness…”

“I believe we can be of some assistance”, Voland continued, seeing their guide’s dilemma. “Shall we?”

The Major nodded; her expression turned to relief as she rushed towards the kitchen. She completely missed a black cat that snuck out of the kitchen a few seconds earlier.

***

_Evangelion Cages, 11:15; a routine test of restraints_

“Lower power to the 65% of operational”, came the command from the shift leader as she checked the instruments and gave the restraints surrounding Unit-01 a look. “Nice and slow.”

“Starting the power-down. 90% operational …” the technician started to read the indicator. “80% operational …”.

“Too fast!” came a warning from another station.

“It is within tolerance”, the operating technician countered, eliciting a disapproving look from his superior. “70% operational …” he called out as the structure around the Unit-01 shook a bit.

“Slow it down, Ogino”, the shift leader commanded, her voice concerned.

“62% operational”, the technician called. “59%... and stable”, Specialist Ogino called.

“Not exactly on spot, is it?” the shift leader raised her eyebrow. “What happened?”

“I’m not sure, Sergeant”, Specialist Ogino replied, his face sweaty. “Seems fine to me–”

“58% and falling”, the other station corrected.

The shift leader’s eyebrows were on the way to meet her hairline. “So much for ‘stable’. We’ll figure it out from logs”, she decided. “Restore power, Ogino, bring it back to 90% at least. Carefully!” she added before taking a deep breath.

“Yes, Sergeant”, he replied and punched the commands into the console.

_‘This was supposed to be **routine’**_ , the sergeant grumbled internally. _‘Have I gotten sloppy?’_ she pondered. _‘A certain test in 1986 was also supposed to be routine, right? Let’s not lose our focus, shall – what the–’_ her thoughts stopped as she suddenly felt very, very cold.

A figure of a man, dressed in a military garb that would be not out of place seventy years ago, was standing next to the wall control panel. Noticing her attention, he smiled a crooked smile, showing an odd fang – and winked at her with a seemingly blind eye before disappearing as if he was never there.

_‘Damn it. I should cut down on the coffee… and interrogate grandma about family members that server during the War…’_ she decided before shaking the cold feeling off.

“60% and rising”, Specialist Ogino reported. His voice brought her to reality.

“57% and falling?” the other technician immediately countered.

“What?” the shift leader’s face contorted in confusion, the cold feeling returning. “Show me!” she started to compare the readings on both consoles. Both seemed to work correctly. “That’s some Devil’s work…”

The door opened and several people wandered in. “And this is the Cage Control Center”, Major Misato Katsuragi explained. “Currently, we’re running a simple, routine test–”

***

_Somewhere in the bowels of NERV HQ, 11:47_

“Watch your step, boy”, the old technician chided a young man. “This is not your average elevator. This baby’s power line will take a while to kill you and it will hurt all the time you’d be dying.”

“I’m wearing protection, aren’t I?” the rubber-clad technician-in-training protested.

“And so was I, every single time with my wife, and I still have three kids”, the old man retorted. “Won’t help you if you make a stupid mistake. Now, what do we are supposed to do now?”

“Make sure the elevator is empty, secure it so it cannot be used, and only then enter the shaft”, the boy recited.

“Good. Now, I say it’s empty. What now?” the old man queried.

“I check it myself before proceeding”, the boy replied.

The old man smirked. “Good. Maybe you won’t end up like your predecessor”, he remarked in a deadpan voice.

“My… predecessor?” boy’s voice suddenly turned shaky.

“Yes, yes, he’s still somewhere down there”, the man pointed down the shaft with a barely perceptible wry smile. “Keep going.”

The boy gleaned at the screen – and shook his head, his expression bemused. “Elevator’s not empty, boss”, he reported. “There’s a… cat.”

“What?!” the old man shot him a confused glare and grabbed the detachable screen.

There was, indeed, a very large cat, sitting in the middle of the elevator, licking his paw. A few moments later, he raised his head and stared directly into the camera as if asking a polite question about being disturbed.

“For fuck’s sake, we don’t _have_ cats in HQ, not since the hot blondie got rid of hers…” the man murmured. “Go and check it yourself, boy.”

“I… I have a name, boss”, the boy protested as he started to crawl out of the maintenance space.

“I’ll learn it if you survive your first month”, the old man retorted. “You still have a week. Go”, he repeated his order.

As the boy left, the old man let out a sigh. _‘You’re a good boy, Tensui-kun… and you learn fast. But you could use **some** humility in the face of what we’re working with here. Nobody will let you into the Cages with that attitude of yours.’_

***

_NERV HQ Training Center Bet, 11:50_

“Questions, Shibutani-san?” the instructor directed his question at a young woman in the NERV’s security uniform with Corporal rank patches.

“No, sir. I’m ready”, she declared.

“Great. Twenty shots, I expect at least ten hits in the vitals”, he directed as he slid his ear protectors on. “Begin.”

She took her aim at the paper silhouette and squeezed the trigger. The instructor was looking with a certain interest; the corporal was not the best shot in her unit, but she was showing a lot of promise – and a lot of ambition. The latter did not sit too well with the old man, but his duty was to train the young ones, not to assess their motivations.

“Done, teacher!” she reported happily. He eyed the table in front of her and allowed himself a small smile of approval seeing an unloaded weapon. The target was also pulled for inspection.

“Hm, eleven out of twenty in the vitals, seventeen total”, he nodded with approval. “Load twenty”, he ordered.

“Teacher?” she frowned.

“You have two attempts. You can do even better, can’t you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, teacher!” she stood at attention, her eyes brightening up.

The man rolled his eyes. “At ease, Shibutani-san. Load twenty and put up a fresh target.”

“Yes, teacher!” the woman exclaimed as she picked up the magazine and reached inside the box of bullets. About a minute later – a tempo the instructor chuckled at – she replaced the target and put it at the distance.

The old man took a look, nodded – and put his hearing protection back on. “Begin.”

The Corporal smiled, pushed her ear covering on, slid the magazine in, and put the bullet in the chamber.

First three shots – and three vital hits. Her smile grew into a grin as she squeezed the trigger for the fourth time–

An average time of a conscious reaction – the time between a fact is registered and the brain is capable of processing the information and acting on it – is, for an adult brain, less than half a second. Of course, numerous factors contribute to prolonging that time – for example, it is easier to _perform_ an action than to _stop_ an action, not to mention the less expected the stimuli, the longer it takes to react to it.

And this was exactly why the brain of Corporal Shibutani failed to stop her from pulling the trigger – or even redirecting the weapon – when she realized someone was standing between the muzzle of her firearm and the paper target; someone she could swear was not there a literal second ago.

To her credit, barring the failure to avoid shooting that someone, she reacted correctly: the moment she noticed the problem she put the gun down – with safety on, no less – raised a hand, yelled ‘man on the range!’, and ran past the surprised inspector towards the figure, facing it – all within five seconds.

A figure that, as her perceptions delivered in the stress-fueled absurd detail, was a middle-aged man with thin red hair in a combover, one eye gray and the other covered in cataract, and a rather stupid smile that exposed a single, overgrown fang. He was dressed in business attire: a well-fitted striped suit, a pale grey shirt, and high-quality leather shoes; the composition was completed – or broken, depending on the point of view – with some ridiculous cape on his back. This clothing now had a small blotch of blood somewhere near the heart – a blotch the man just touched.

“Nice shooting, young lady”, he complimented her with a nasal, unpleasant voice. His expression turned from ponderous one – one he had as he was looking at his bloodied hand – to one of approval he assumed as he raised his eyes to looks at her shocked face. “Not as good as mine or Behemoth’s, but you have a lot of time to improve still. Well, _some_ time”, he corrected himself.

“Sir, are you all right?” the Corporal asked the most stupid question she could, her voice panicked. “What are you doing here?” she added a more reasonable one, completely failing to notice that the rest of the room seemed frozen in time.

“Well, I was curious”, the man retorted. “I heard shooting and thought it might be worth a check.”

“But… are you…” the woman was increasingly confused.

“Shot?” he prompted. “Yes, clearly. Right through the heart”, he admitted. “Nice one”, he nodded in continuing approval. The woman shook her head as he touched the edge of the wound again. She took a step back – and screamed.

The unexpected guest’s expression soured. “I suppose I should return later”, he let out a sigh. “Thank you for the demonstration… I suppose you should continue if you want a good score”, he suggested with a slightly exasperated expression as he shot a glare towards the frozen instructor. The Corporal took a few steps back as if she was sleepwalking.

“Go on, go on”, he encouraged her. “We don’t want to cause any unnecessary stir, correct?” he smiled again, his odd fang exposed. The Corporal stumbled back to her firing station, her eyes still locked on him. “Good luck on your test!” he exclaimed – and then he was gone.

The Corporal stood there, dumbfounded and stupefied, her mind still incapable of processing what had just happened; in the corner of her eye, she noticed a quizzing look of the instructor: the man seemed to be unfazed – or more likely, unaware – of the events that transpired right in front of him.

_‘Or perhaps did not, and I just had a psychotic episode?’_ she realized.

Things started to fall into place. The woman drew a deep breath–

That very moment, the door opened and several people entered the range. “And this is the shooting range”, Major Katsuragi explained. “It is a part of our–” she stopped abruptly, seeing the odd scene and the young woman’s expression.

The Corporal took a long look at the party that just entered – and started to scream at the top of her lungs.

***

_NERV HQ corridors, 11:55_

“And now we’re heading towards the Command Center”, Major Katsuragi explained, her voice shaking just a bit.

To say the whole tour had been tough on her would be a heavy understatement – it was an unending nightmare. The Major was hoping it will all end once they would arrive at the Command and she would leave those two to their own devices as she was commanded – but at the same time, she was trying her best to contain her irrational fear that the moment they arrive in the Command, an Angel attack simply had to happen.

“Major?” a calm, patient, and surprisingly melodic voice interrupted her musings.

“Yes, Inspector?” she turned to face the source of her nightmares.

“Are there animals on the base?” Voland asked out of the blue.

“Not that I know, Inspector”, the Major replied in a confused voice. “We don’t do animal research, we’re obviously not allowed to bring pets to work, none are allowed in on-site housing, and we regularly exterminate pests”, she listed. “Why?”

Voland wordlessly turned around and indicated something with a gesture of their head.

Following their eyes, Katsuragi froze.

A large, black cat was running through the middle of the corridor, chased by a young man in a technician’s uniform. The man was demonstrating a rather aggressive and uncouth language directed at the animal despite seeming to be quite winded. The cat seemed unmoved by the amount of aggression directed against him, though.

Seeing an obstacle in the form of three people ahead of it, the cat decided to avoid it in the simplest way – he jumped, rolled in the air, and attached himself to the ceiling – where, to the wide-eyed glare of some and completely blasé look of others, it resumed its run.

Seeing the same obstacle – along with an officer – the young technician realized that continuing his run would result in a whole set of horrible consequences – so he tried to stop. But to his horror, his speed and the resulting inertia caused him to end on his knees – and directly in front of the Major.

“T-tech-ni-cian”, he managed between gasps and despite his growing panic. “Tech-nician Tensui Mochizuki, reporting”, he glanced up, “Major. Please – please don’t… mind me”, he added, his voice raspy and panicked.

“As… as you were, Technician”, the Major shook her head, her face exasperated. “Shall we continue?” she turned to the inspector.

“A moment”, Voland requested, indicating with a head gesture at their assistant who was making yet another note.

_‘Welcome scolding, demotion, or summary execution’_ , Katsuragi realized glumly, noticing that this was a third or fourth page of notes. _‘Let’s just hope the Commander assigns someone who actually **can** shoot to that execution.’_

***

_NERV HQ Command Center, 12:10_

Outside the combat incidents, the work of Lieutenant Aoba was relatively simple and undemanding – at least to someone with his memory and attention to detail, traits that ensured his ascension to the current position. He was responsible for tracking numerous aspects of NERV functioning and perfect operations of many systems – but as long as they were operating, he was merely busy with watching them, keeping a maintenance schedule, ensuring it is followed, locating bottlenecks, and finding ways to optimize the systems. He did not envy his colleagues who had more active duties – on the other hand, he knew well that if he was not that good, he would be doing a lot of those things as they did – manually. But because he **was** good, there were times where he was left with little to do.

Today was a little different, of course – due to the unexpected inspection, he was tasked with preparing a demonstration of the Command Center’s capabilities. ‘No bells and no whistles’, the Commander told him. ‘Just the essentials so our guest has a general idea’, he added. Initially, Aoba was dismayed by this order: after all, this was an opportunity to check the limits of the simulation software; but just as quickly, he realized that in the time he was given – about two hours to prepare, test, and deploy – fewer features meant fewer possible points of failure.

And thus, he had been ready for about half an hour already as the inspector casually strolled into the Command Center with the assistant at their side and clearly exhausted Major Katsuragi in tow. Aoba raised his eyebrow at this rather odd picture, but it was not his part to question anything – his duty was a technical one. Thus, as the Major approached him after delivering a short explanation to the guests, he stood up and reported: “Everything is ready, ma’am! Should I begin?”

“Yes, Lieutenant. Please do”, she nodded, trying her best to maintain a steady voice. He nodded in reply, giving her a sympathetic glare.

He punched a command in the console; causing a large SIMULATION MODE: READY message to appear on the wall display. Switching the microphone on, he announced: “We’re entering a simulation mode. It will be interrupted should an attack occur. The only section unaffected is the monitoring. Please do not interfere unless monitoring reports an attack. We begin in five… four… three… two… one… now!” he punched another command – only to see a console error. He furrowed his brows, overcame a small bout of panic, and quickly fixed the command. The banner message changed to SIMULATION MODE: ACTIVE.

Aoba chose the simplest Angel he could use and had reliable data for – Shamshel, known very unofficially and only among the mid-ranking staff as ‘the dildo with an attitude’. Obviously, he omitted all the ‘unauthorized civilians’ details and focused on the battle. “As the simulations do not allow disabling of the monitoring station, we start from the point where the Angel has–” he paused as he suddenly heard a very audible ‘meow’ from somewhere near. Knowing it was impossible, he shook the distraction off and carried on. “Where the Angel appears on our grid. The first contact is usually done by the JSSDF on duty, as they take the least time to deploy”, he started to explain gesturing towards the markers with unit signatures moving around the map. “By the time the Angel enters our usual operations area, we know whether the first attack was effective”, he managed to say with a straight face, “the NERV is ready and begins deploying the Evangelions. This is done via the elevator – we have several across the city. The battle you are watching was handled by a single Evangelion, Unit-01. The deployment is done via the elevator. We should see it appear within a few seconds – the pilot had been inserted, the unit delivered, and is being launched, and now we see–” a second ‘meow’ sounded, all too near. Aoba would have ignored it if it had not been followed by a panic-inducing whirring sound, followed in turn by a quickly moving text that was unmistakably a stack trace from a crashing application.

Aoba’s face went pale; he turned to the console – but it indicated the simulation was still running.

In the silence, a third ‘meow’ followed, loud as a gunshot to the Lieutenant’s ears – and the wall of text on the wall display was suddenly followed by another series of messages, ending in a KERNEL PANIC: FATAL EXCEPTION message.

Nobody spoke a word in the silence that followed. Aoba suddenly felt all eyes resting on him.

“I assume this is not a part of the simulation?” Voland interrupted the dead silence, their voice deadpan.

“It… it is not, Inspector”, a deathly pale Aoba admitted. “We – I think we need to restart the system…”

“Failsafe is not engaging”, Hyuga’s voice followed. “Restarting the stations manually, Aoba-san, I need you to confirm the reboot”, he called. “Aoba?” he checked after there was no answer.

“Yes, yes, of course”, Aoba turned to his console.

“I was under the impression that the failsafe system should be safe from failure?” Voland raised an eyebrow, their voice deadpan.

“Yes, Inspector”, Major Katsuragi seemed to be at a stage where nothing more could affect her. “We will get to the bottom of this”, she promised.

“No need to”, Voland replied off-handedly as they watched the diagnostic messages coming up on the wall display. “I am not a technical inspector, Major, I work for the Ethics Office. I consider this demonstration concluded, as much as our tour”, they declared. “Unless there is anything else, I would be more than happy to start the proper part of the inspection. Do you object?”

“N-not at all, inspector”, Major Katsuragi agreed, her eyes indicating a growing madness.

“Thank you. Natasha Prokofyevna”, they addressed their assistant who was starting the seventh page of notes. “Shall we?”

“Yes, Inspector”, she followed Voland as they turned and left the room.

There was a moment of silence, interrupted by a sudden stern voice over the intercom. “Clean up this mess, and I want the report on what went wrong in an hour on my desk.”

“Yes, sir”, Aoba replied, his face showing utter despair.

***

The sun was slowly setting over Tokyo-3. Voland was sitting in the chair, their eyes closed, their smile intact.

Sound of footsteps interrupted the reverie; one pair of feet belonged to a man with a predilection to old, heavy-heeled boots; the other pair was bare. Behemoth, as it was in nature of the cats, was nowhere to be heard.

Voland opened their eyes; apparently, Behemoth was also nowhere to be seen. “Yes, my servants?”

“A thousand apologies, messire”, the redheaded man bowed in an old-fashioned way, the cape of his now-medieval clothing in his hand; his eyes were joyous, their expression unmarred by the fact that one was covered by a cataract. “I merely wished to report that all seeds have been sown, and to ask whether you are satisfied with the results”, the man explained as he straightened up.

“I am, my faithful servant”, Voland replied. “Even if I’m under the impression that you scared them a little bit too much.”

“Messire, forgive my boldness, but as long as the heart survives and the hair does not turn white, there is no such thing as ‘too much fear’”, the man protested.

“Perhaps”, Voland reluctantly agreed. “The fruits were right, though, thus – I am satisfied. Where is Behemoth, by the way?”

“Who knows, messire…” the assassin shrugged. “He’s a cat, they have their own paths. But my guess is that he is still following your standing orders and sowing chaos in the nest of the vipers.”

“Good”, Voland acknowledged. “Anything else, my faithful Azazello?”

“No, messire”, the man bowed with a small smile and took a step back, vanishing from the sight.

“Natasha?” he addressed the witch. “Your impressions?”

“They’re hiding something”, the girl replied as she approached and curtsied; in stark contrast to her previous attire, right now she was dressed only in her silver-and-emerald jewelry. “That much is glaringly obvious. Their fear is palpable, just as is their confusion.”

“Ah, but do they fear us, or their own?” Voland remarked. “There is more to it, and I intend to look at the matters – closer.”

“Yes, messire”, she agreed. “Do you wish me to assume a different role?” she asked, hope easy to spot in her voice.

“Oh, no”, Voland smirked. “You play yours too perfect to change it, so I expect you to bear with it until we are done with this… farce. Let us see whether they catch the bait, first”, they decided to the girl’s dismay. “Is there anything else?”

“No, messire”, she replied.

“Then return to me when the scouts are back”, they commanded and without waiting for the reply, closed their eyes and tilted their head back, losing themselves again in the thoughts of the day; Natasha curtsied again without a further word and stepped back into the neglected garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer; the conclusion of the day will most likely be shorter. From now on, the chapters will differ in length, as it makes more sense to split them thematically than by size.
> 
> The schedule remains unchanged, as I have three stories on my hands right now and accelerating this one would do it a disservice. Stay tuned for the next update around the end of January 2021 - and I wish you all a Better New Year :)


	6. Act I, scene V: The first day at NERV – the evening

Working in the NERV facilities, as mentioned before, had many perks and several drawbacks. Among the latter, there was a risk of suffering a mental breakdown. Of course, it was a risk inherent to any high-stress work and a risk augmented by the fact that in NERV, therapy was something that happened to other people. While physical healthcare was among the best in the world, the mental aspects were often just pushed aside.

But as nature abhors the vacuum – at least in the planetary environment – alternative solutions sprung up. There were, obviously, less effective and burdened with a higher risk of side effects, but they were better than the nothing NERV was insisting on.

The two most common forms of therapy were the simplest: spending time with your fellow sufferers and employing substance abuse.

***

_NERV HQ, meeting room 616, late afternoon_

A man in a NERV uniform downed a small glass of liquor with a twitch on his face and let out a heavy sigh. “Do we have any idea on how long this nightmare is supposed to take, Miyoshi-san?” he asked his companion, a woman in her forties, dressed in a work uniform with Sergeant insignia.

“No idea, Aoba-san”, the woman in the Cage technician uniform with two bars on it sighed and picked up a dark glass bottle sitting in the middle of the conference room table. All the assembled – a group that included two younger men in technician and support uniforms and a young woman with Corporal insignia as well – pushed their glasses towards her as she unscrewed the cap of the half-emptied bottle. “I heard something about a week at minimum, but one of mine eavesdropped something about two”, she added as she carefully poured a small measure of the dark, fruit-and-alcohol-smelling liquid to each of the glasses, screwed the cap back on tight, and raised her glass.

“To good results and quick end of this nightmare”, she proposed a toast.

“Cheers!” a reply followed as they drained their glasses. A heavy silence descended on them; the mood was anything but happy. There were no irregularities detected, of course, but having someone look over your shoulder was anything but pleasant.

The young technician cleared his throat. “I also heard that–”

The door to the conference room opened with a subdued swoosh. The assembled NERV employees jumped in their seats, turning their eyes towards the source of the sound, their faces pale.

Voland took a slow, measured look around the room before turning to their assistant. “Natasha Prokofyevna, please take a note: ‘The personnel seems to be under serious pressure, leading to highly nervous behavior. There are also indications of the overtime being somewhat excessive’. End note”, they dictated in perfect Japanese. The surprised assembly offered only panicked glances in response.

The woman scribbled the words down quickly. “Duly noted, Inspector”, she replied in kind.

“W-w-would you join us, inspector? Madame?” one of the younger members of the impromptu assemble offered, eliciting even more panicked glances from all the others.

“Thank you, but I would rather not intrude”, Voland politely declined.

“That would not be an intrusion… Inspector”, the older woman took over, hesitating just for a moment. “Would you like some rum?”

Voland raised an eyebrow. “Interesting”, they noted. “But I’m afraid drinking on duty would be highly inappropriate”, they replied with a heavy sigh, paused, glanced at the watch, and turned to Natasha. “Please make a note: the first day of the inspection concluded at 17:58.”

“Duly noted, Inspector”, Natasha repeated as she made a note, closed the clipboard, and put it in the briefcase.

“Now”, Voland suddenly smiled, their tone changing to amicable. “That being arranged, I believe I can take your invitation with pleasure. I assume you don’t mind inviting two weary travelers to your table in lieu of the inspector and the assistant?”

“Not at all… Voland-sama?” the woman probed.

“Wonderful”, Voland smiled a wide smile that sported a bit too many teeth, disregarding the implied question about the form of address. “Natasha, would you please?” they gestured at the table.

“Of course, messire”, the woman smiled, opened the briefcase again, and pulled a bottle labeled in some odd alphabet, followed by an odd-smelling bundle of greased paper. The group was staring at them in unified confusion, bemused by the addition to the table and the sudden change in formality; the fact that the briefcase was clearly too small to be able to contain a bottle of that size without bulging somehow slipped their minds.

“Did you expect me to come for a drink empty-handed?” Voland’s smile turned into a mock expression of an insulted face. “I hope you’ll enjoy the results of Natasha’s culinary… experiments”, they gestured at the bundle the woman was unpacking; a number of thumb-sized – if thinner – dark pink rectangles spread on the paper appeared to the confused onlookers. “Please, enjoy; it should mesh well enough with rum, and will be perfect with the cordial”, they pointed to the bottle. “From what I know, none of you has any issues with eating pork?” they followed with a question. Confused headshakes followed.

The younger woman suddenly jumped up: “pardon, sir”, she ran to the cupboard and hauled two glasses for the new guest; they thanked her with kind smiles. The older woman opened the bottle again; Voland’s face twitched in barely contained disgust; Natasha suppressed a chuckle.

“Allow me to take a look at… this”, Voland reached for the bottle; Sergeant Miyoshi, confused by the gesture, handed it over without a word. Voland a small whiff, weighed the bottle for a moment in their hand, and handed it back. “Go ahead, Miyoshi-san”, they requested.

The woman blinked in confusion – but she was far too experienced to allow even so extremely odd manners of an overseas guest to stop her from being a good host. She poured everyone a small measure and raised her glass. “To our unexpected, yet welcome guests”, she smiled at Voland and Natasha – who bowed their heads in response.

As everyone downed their liquor, Natasha – aside from enjoying the taste – observed their reactions. She was quite aware of what her master did – this would not be the first time they played around with the drinks. She only hoped nobody would spill one this time.

All three young employees barely managed to hold their liquor: their eyes bulged as they gasped for breath. Lieutenant Aoba fared somewhat better, but even he had to take a deep breath. Only sergeant Miyoshi seemed mostly unfazed; she pursed her lips and her face assumed a ponderous expression. “Interesting”, she started, her voice hoarse. “You seem to have… numerous talents, inspector”, she addressed Voland, fixing the newcomer with a curious glare.

“Please, Miyoshi-san, I’m here in a… private capacity”, they replied with a smile. “And forgive me, in the heat of the sudden entry, I must have forgotten myself. I am familiar with you, of course, but those of you who had already met me did so only in my official capacity. Here and now, my name is just Voland”, they bowed their head, “and this is Natasha”, they continued with a gesture towards the woman. “I am pleased to meet you… Miyoshi-san, Aoba-san, Nagai-san, Tsuchida-san, Higashi-san”, they addressed each of the assembled people in turn with an emerging smirk.

The sergeant, her eyebrows raised and her face in a perfect ‘oh’ expression, reached for the bottle again. “Well, after what I have heard about how the day went and just seen here, I can only say that I don’t envy anyone who’d run afoul of your sight”, she poured everyone a measure of the liquor. “Can I ask you, what truly brings you here?”

“Miyoshi-san”, Lt. Aoba hissed in a whisper, a mix of fear and worry on his face. “Please stop!”

“Oh, no, no reason to”, Voland’s smirk widened, showing some of the pearly-white teeth. “It’s refreshing. First things first, though”, they reached for the glass. “To a fortunate meeting!” they proposed before downing the glass in one swift move; Natasha and Miyoshi followed the suit. The others, now aware of the high proof of the drink, were more cautious. “Now, to your question… I have reasons to suspect that there are things taking place here that should not happen. NERV has precious little oversight, and this seems to result in… unseemly consequences.”

The assembled exchanged glances but reasserted themselves quickly. “Not at all”, Aoba objected. “It’s a quite good workplace”, he stated, several nods following. “Demanding, but quite good.”

“Oh, I’m sure”, Voland smiled. “Being stress-inducing does not disqualify the workplace. But there is always this subtle issue… how much of your employer’s secrets you do not know?”

Glances were exchanged again. Finally, Sergeant Miyoshi spoke up: “NERV works on a need-to-know basis… and this is a perfectly normal thing for us not to know secrets.”

“Certainly”, Voland agreed. “I understand your viewpoint. But please, do not presume there is no unseemliness only because you do not see it. And, as I just said, I am here to find the issues out and allow some… improvements to be made”, they elaborated. “I cannot say how much this will affect you, of course.”

“We will manage”, the Sergeant smirked and started pouring another round.

In the meantime, other things were being set in motion.

***

_NERV HQ, unused janitorial storage_

“Kaji, we have a problem”, the Major let out a sigh as she eyed the taller silhouette, barely visible in the darkness of the room.

“On the contrary, _mon chéri_ ”, he protested in a soft voice. “Meeting a beautiful woman under such secretive circumstances–”

“Cut the crap”, Katsuragi interrupted him with a growl. “I stayed sober until now just to meet with you, and I needed that drink eight hours ago, when things started to go south, seven hours ago when I thought I would likely be shot for this fiasco and started seeing flying cats, or perhaps an hour ago, when I fully realized that this guy has been around questioning people and poking this pretty head of his into every nook and cranny of this fucked place”, she managed almost without drawing a breath. “So, please”, she hissed, “spare me your sweet-talking and **listen** when I’m telling you we have a problem.”

“Fair point, I’m sorry”, the man shook his head, any levity gone from his voice in an instant. “But let me tell you that: I think we have an **opportunity** ”, he retorted in a confident voice. “To shake Gendo Ikari’s chokehold on this facility, if for nothing else. But first, we need to know more. Can you tell me more about those two? Ikari is keeping me away from all potentially inspected areas, lest I say too much… and they’re rarely alone.”

“I can’t tell you much”, she replied, her voice annoyed. “There’s preciously little information, they gave us about as much as they had to and nothing else. I don’t even know where they stay. What’s your angle?” she furrowed her brows.

“A small counter-intelligence operation”, he smiled in the darkness. “You gave them a tour. Describe them to me, in as many details as you can… and let me try my hand.”

“You better not blow something up”, the Major warned. “The Commander is already in a foul mood after all the mess that happened on the way.”

“The Commander is always in a foul mood”, Kaji shrugged. “But don’t you worry, I might be a fool, but I’m not stupid”, he smiled.

“I dearly hope so”, she huffed – and started to recount her experiences with today’s visitors.

***

_Tokyo-3, one of the dozens of underground passages_

In a dark passage underneath the definitely rowdy part of the city, a young man pulled a permanent marker out of his pocket and drew an imperfect approximation of a stick man on the wall before heading further.

About two hours later, a middle-aged man in a city cleaning service uniform entered the same passage, replaced the thrash bag in a bin with an empty one, raised an eyebrow as he saw the drawing, and sent a quick message from his phone to “Car Mechanic” before returning to the garbage collection truck with the full bag as if nothing had happened.

A few seconds later, an elderly woman in a small apartment frowned as she looked at the display of one of a dozen mobile phones in front of her. Having read the text message, she opened a small notebook and browsed it for a moment before finding a particular row of characters. Then she picked up the landline phone, glanced at a list next to it, and dialed a number written next to a ‘T’.

“Tango reporting”, a grating male voice on the other side reported.

“Number twenty-six in the mental hospital demands sour candy”, the woman stated.

“Fuck”, the man reacted, his voice displeased to a degree of exasperation. “Acknowledged”, he added with a sigh and disconnected.

The woman wrote today’s date and hour in the empty space of the row and decided to make herself some tea. This had been the fourth message from ‘the mental hospital’ she picked up today – and something was telling her it was not going to be the last.

***

_NERV HQ, unused janitorial storage_

“…and this is where I left them and went to write up the report for the Commander and to update my will”, Katsuragi finished with a sigh. “Questions?”

“Not so much, but either something really odd is going on, or you’re starting to hallucinate”, he remarked.

“Thank you, Inspector Obvious”, she scoffed. “Tell that to anyone, and I’ll never help you again.”

“My lips are sealed”, he promised.

“Anything else you want to ask?” she prompted. “I’d rather go home now. I’ve got a date with a hot and tasty dinner.”

“Ah. Yes”, he smiled sheepishly. “Is your invitation to act as your escort still valid?”

He could see the eyeroll despite the darkness. “Yes, it is. Don’t be late.”

“Did I ever let you down?” he asked, his voice laden with charm.

In the spirit of maintaining good relations and not murdering anyone tonight, Misato Katsuragi decided not to answer that in any manner.

***

_NERV HQ, meeting room 616_

The not-cheap-rum-anymore bottle was already empty and the new, smaller glasses stood in front of the people assembled; Voland reached for the patiently-waiting bottle of clear liquid, thumped at the flat bottom, and pulled the cork out in one smooth motion. Glances were exchanged again – and once more as Voland poured the oily-looking liquid. It was hard not to notice, even at the current level of intoxication, that the glasses became covered in frost the moment they were filled. But this time, nobody was brave enough to ask.

“To your future success in this workplace”, Voland raised the glass. “May the NERV be the workplace of dreams”, they added.

“I’ll definitely drink to that”, Aoba replied as he carefully tasted the clear liquor. “Begging you pardon… Inspector–”

“Voland”, Voland corrected.

Aoba paused for a moment, shook his head, and decided not to try the address again, asking in an impersonal way. “What is this?”

“One of the finer inventions of my ancestors”, Sergeant Miyoshi chimed before Voland could answer. “And, I must say, a damn good one”, she added as she downed the glass. “Drink, Aoba-san. It disinfects the soul, something we dearly need nowadays.”

“Indeed, Miyoshi-san”, Voland smiled a toothy smile. “Made by one of the finest masters of the distilling craft, based on the recipe created by the very Dmitri Ivanovich”, they added. “Please”, they indicated the still almost-full stack of the odd-looking snacks. “This makes it a bit more palatable for the less experienced.”

The assembled, universally intoxicated – if not to the same degree – needed little prompting; the unusual appearance of the food was ignored once they realized it tasted simply great.

“You seem nervous, Tensui-kun”, Natasha suddenly spoke up, having observed the boy for a few moments. “What is bothering you?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I–” he blushed momentarily.

“It’s the cat”, Kitchen Assistant Nagai chimed in with an amused tone as he bit on another piece of the snack.

“It’s not the cat!” the technician protested indignantly. “I’m… sorry”, he apologized for no particular reason.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about”, Natasha smiled a smile that made every man in the room suddenly feel way hotter, reminded Sergeant Miyoshi of some excesses of her youth, and made Shibutani quite confused. “We’re all here to unwind, right? What is bothering you?”

“I…” the boy tried. “What if you discover something and… and we all, I mean all NERV, gets dissolved, and we’re all out?” he managed.

“Oh, there’s nothing to worry about, young man”, Voland chimed in, their voice a soft alto. “NERV will persevere, UN will make sure of that… it is just _too important_ ”, a reassurance followed. “Only those that actually have done something wrong, really wrong, have reasons to worry.”

“I shot a man today”, Shibutani suddenly blurted out, making heads turn.

Natasha focused her green eyes on the woman. “But you are here, not under a watch, not in a cell”, she remarked. “Did you really shoot him?”

“I did”, she nodded. “He… disappeared.”

Voland and Natasha exchanged glances; a watchful observer would have noticed a hint of exasperation in their expressions.

“Shibutani-san… keep it to yourself… for now”, Natasha suggested, her expression more serious as she reached and touched the woman’s hand, eliciting a poorly-concealed, full-face blush. “Rest assured… you will understand.”

“Who are you, people?” Aoba suddenly asked in a clearly drunken voice. “I get your pro-fes-sio-nal part, and I get the tra-dition of drinking after work, even if NERV tries to weed it out. But today… since you came, it’s a mess. Did you _curse_ this place as you came?”

“Aoba…”, Miyoshi rolled her eyes. “Be serious”, she chastised him, even if her voice indicated some worry.

“Oh, by no means”, Voland smiled. “I am merely doing everything that is needed to ensure we get to the truth. And for who we are… passing visitors, nothing else, guests in a place that belongs to your ancestors and their gods”, they declared cryptically.

The assembled exchanged glances. “I don’t think we’re drunk enough for this level of philosophy”, Sergeant Miyoshi finally shrugged.

“This can be easily amended”, Voland declared and reached for the bottle. “Now, if anything else is bothering you…”, they smiled a warm, if a bit predatory, smile. “Feel free to share it with me.”

***

A while later the group of five people staggered out the room, one by one, each of them taking care to avoid any attention and doing their best to walk straight until the warm air of the evening and the last rays of the sun greeted them outside the complex.

Despite all the confusion, without regard of the pains of today, uncaring about the strangeness that befell them in the afternoon – each and every one of them felt very light on the soul, immensely relieved – and somehow reassured they met someone who actually _cared_ in this gods-forsaken – and God-forsaken – place.

***

“Messire?” Natasha’s voice, coming from afar, interrupted Voland’s recollections. “The scouts return.”

“Thank you, Natasha”, they whispered and slowly opened their eyes. Looking up, they rested their eyes on the teenage boy in a school uniform and a twenty-something girl wearing just a nurse coat, both approaching him cautiously. “Report”, Voland spoke in a soft but commanding alto voice.

***

The sun was slowly setting over Tokyo-3. Voland was sitting in the chair, their eyes closed, their face tired. The reporting young ones were long gone, and the events of the day were already recounted, weighed, and remembered. But it was not yet time to rest. It was still time to command.

“Natasha”, they called just above a whisper.

A nude female form of a blonde girl emerged from behind the nearby tree; her hair was starting to take a copper shine as the sun slowly vanished behind the hills, her skin turning paler every second. “Yes, Master Voland?”

“She does not seem ready”, Voland stated, looking at the young witch, quickly disappearing in the sky.

“I believe in her, messire. She is ready, she just doesn’t know it yet”, the older witch reassured. “But if you say otherwise…” she bowed her head, “Should I take the school over?”

Voland pondered for a moment. “No”, they finally decided. “We need reinforcements, not a replacement. Azazello!” their voice suddenly gained strength and depth.

The shape reemerged from the shadow. “You called, messire?” the redheaded man spoke as he bowed.

“You will go assist with the school. I believe another pair of eyes will do well on that front”, Voland commanded.

“But… messire… to send an assassin to contend with… schoolchildren?” Azazello’s crooked face twisted in disgust. “What about the main task you had for me here?”

“Your main assignment is not yet possible, demon”, Voland retorted, their face unchanged. “It will have to wait until I access the necessary information… or Behemoth finds what he is supposed to find. Until then… blend in at the schoolgrounds. This is what you do well, isn’t it?”

“By your command, messire", Azazello bowed again, his voice still betraying his displeasure with his new orders. “What is Behemoth **actually** doing, if I may ask for my curiosity be satisfied? You asked me of his whereabouts, messire… but you seem to know better”, he remarked. “As usual, if I may notice”, he added with a chuckle.

“Collecting”, Voland replied. “And gaslighting”, they added with a crooked smirk.

“I see”, he acknowledged. “Anyone I should be paying specific attention to, messire, during this… assignment?” Azazello asked, his expression sour.

“The pilots that spend time outside, and those engaged in activities that may slip those two”, Voland explained. “I trust your eye will spot things they will miss.”

“Yes, messire”, the figure bowed again and stepped back into the shadow.

“He seems… unhappy”, Natasha remarked.

“It was to be expected”, Voland shrugged. “But he will do his duty, and he will do it well.”

“As we all do, messire. I didn’t see Auset panic, so I assume you haven’t told her about the assignment yet?” Natasha inquired.

Voland smirk returned. “Not yet. She’ll learn in due time.”

Natasha’s smile mirrored theirs. “Of course, messire. Is there anything else?”

Voland pondered for a moment, contemplating the last rays of the sun gone behind the hilltops. The evening twilight was finally setting in.

“Actually, yes”, they finally replied, finally turning their face towards the fully changed woman; her copper hair framed her pale face, her emerald eyes gleamed with a subtle, yet clearly unholy light. “This was a long day. Put an evening dress on, witch. I wish to try the local cuisine… and dining alone would be tasteless.”

Natasha’s smile widened. “Yes, messire. With pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing around with chronology of events vs. chronology of description here, I hope it turned out legible enough in the end.
> 
> The next update is planned for the 2021-03-01 and will most likely be (mostly) about the school. Stay tuned!


	7. Act I, scene VI: The days at school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialogue in {curly brackets} is in German. I decided to apply the translation convention instead of using German and providing translations as I did in past stories. I hope it works better. For those familiar with German: assume the characters use the T-form (du) here.
> 
> The dialogue in [square brackets] indicates a language different than the conventional Japanese and {German}.

The morning classroom was not as lively as it would be during the lunch break, but it was far from silent – especially due to the rumors circulating around about the newcomer.

To nobody’s surprise, Etsuko Arai – the girl who managed to grab the new boy first – was currently being subjected to an interrogation as brutal as only teenagers are capable of exercising.

“How is he like?”

“Where did you go to?”

“Was he behaving properly?”

“What did you talk about?”

“Is he letting you talk?”

Etsuko did her best to answer the questions, but she had preciously little to say: she admitted that Timmy was very gentlemanly, not too talkative, and very curious about life in school and Tokyo-3 in general – to a degree that made her woefully underinformed about him, because every time she asked a question, he answered politely – and then turned the conversation around to ask his own. She did not mind, enjoying his curiosity – but at the end of the day, she realized she knew preciously little about him.

Some of the girls who were in the dating queue turned ponderous; this sounded like a proper challenge – at that was something at least some of them enjoyed. Their determination was tarnished only by the fact that the subject of their focus was absent. Was he going to come? Did they scare him off? Or maybe his father got recalled suddenly and he–

The door slid open and Timothy Siebel entered, greeting everyone with a soft ‘hello’ and a warm smile. The gossip of schoolgirls moved to intercept him – but stopped in their tracks the moment the school bell chimed, announcing the start of the first lesson; about ten seconds later, the teacher entered, prompting the Class Representative to invoke her usual greeting routine.

Timmy sat down at his desk, trying his best to hide the small smirk. _‘Punctuality is a very important virtue for Japanese people, isn’t it?’_

***

 _‘Let’s give them something to hang onto during the lunch break… and me something to stop me from falling asleep’_ , Timmy thought after yet another stifled yawn. _‘Before I need to be sent to nurse’s office to be laughed at by dear Auset.’_

He took a closer look at the screen of his laptop. The local operating system was quite similar to those used in the Western computers he was familiar with from his previous life; he opened a console and ran a few commands, confirming his suspicions. _‘Must be one of those not-so-open exports… or maybe an unofficial cooperation’_ , he concluded before filing this thought for a later check. _‘Just makes things easier…’_

One MMC discreetly inserted into his laptop, a few dozen keystrokes, and a few moments later, he started to notice some signs of distress among the students – but not anything resembling the disruption he was hoping for. _‘Let me guess, one of those… cultural things? None will disrupt the class? I guess I have to be more overt than that… Damn it, it’s not my style–’_

“Teacher?” he suddenly heard a voice and saw a raised hand; his salvation came from the unanticipated, but logical direction: the only person who was not afraid to cause disruption.

“Yes, Soryu-san?” the teacher stopped narrating to her ‘How to Use a Text Editor’ presentation and turned her surprised gaze towards the girl. “Is something unclear?”

“My laptop’s gone crazy and I can’t do a single thing you’re talking about”, Asuka explained. Several mumbles followed her, confirming discreetly – and with relief – that this was a more widespread issue.

The teacher approached the redhead, doubt in her eyes – and quickly realized the girl was telling the truth; the laptop was working, but it was incredibly slow – and the task list sent from the teacher’s computer was displayed in some illegible font. The teacher frowned. “I am going to call the support”, she decided after a few seconds. “Until then, open your handbooks–”

“Ma’am?” Timmy chimed in, trying his best to contain his smirk. “Maybe I can help?”

The woman narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re the newcomer, correct? Siebel-kun?” she recalled a name.

“Yes, ma’am, Timothy Siebel”, he confirmed. “I have some experience with computers. If you would let me try to take a look at your terminal?”

“Why mine?” her frown returned.

“Well, it seems that the list broke, and it is provided from your computer, correct?” he replied. “It makes sense that it is the prime suspect”, he reasoned.

“Hm”, her frown deepened; Timmy started to wonder whether that woman had any other expressions. “But be careful not to break anything else”, she stipulated.

“Don’t worry, ma’am, I know what I’m doing”, he flashed the teacher a smile and went over to her desk, tracked by about every pair of eyes in the room – with a remarkable exception of Rei Ayanami, who was – as it was in her habit – just staring out of the window at the blue sky.

 _‘Okay, she’s going to be a tougher nut to crack… I’ll have to find some other hook. Fortunately, it’s unlikely that the boss gives her case to me…’_ he mused as he approached the desk, sensing the teacher following him closely. _‘Don’t trust me, ma’am, do you?’_ he smirked. _‘And you’re right not to, but this time, this time I really intend to fix it.’_

He leaned over the screen and requested the list of processes. It was very easy to find the one his little script introduced. He had to pretend he was not aware of the reason – and at the same time, doing his best to fix the problem. Fortunately for him, despite this being the class closest to Computer Science they had so far, the teacher was at best at an average user level.

About three minutes later and another MMC with a small backdoor-installing script discreetly inserted, activated, and removed, he let out a semi-convincing ‘ha!’ – and ‘identified’ the offending process. A quick kill command removed it. “Soryu-san, is the problem gone?” he requested a check.

The redhead shook off her absentmindedness and turned her annoyed glare at the screen. “Yeah, it’s gone. Nice”, she remarked with a shadow of appreciation passing through her face – a shadow quickly replaced by her usual disdain.

“Kasai-san?” he turned to one of the girls he was supposed to date in the incoming days. “Can you confirm?”

“Yes!” the diminutive girl exclaimed. “Everything is fine!”

“The floor is yours, ma’am”, the boy bowed and stepped away from the desk. “The process feeding the list was doubled and scrambled the output as a result”, he explained helpfully, if completely falsely; the teacher’s nodding reaction told him that he did not need to worry about his backdoor being detected, at least not by her. “Should not happen again anytime soon.”

“Thank you… Siebel-kun”, the teacher frowned again. “Return to your desk, we will resume.”

“Yes, ma’am”, he smiled and complied – once more tracked by almost all the eyes in the classroom.

 _‘Ah, the sweet attention’_ , he mused as he basked in the appreciative gazes.

***

As the lunch break began, he found himself once more lacking nothing, be it company, attention – or bentos. _‘Wise of me that I didn’t buy anything. Joke’s on them, though, I can eat a lot…’_ he chuckled to himself. _‘And there’s no boy in the class I should be mean to at the moment’_ , he concluded as he smiled to all his benefactors – and carefully chose the box that came from Yorika Ueda, a girl he was supposed to date today, the second would be from Etsuko Arai – and the third from Momoko Matsubara, the girl he would see tomorrow. _‘Careful with favorites and playing’_ , he reminded himself. _‘You’re working here. But there’s no reason not to gather some more information before moving to the targets proper, is there?’_

***

There were several things a demon could dislike. Holy symbols were often such a thing – if the demon in question was so psychologically inclined. Bad weather, if they paid too much attention to the sensation of their corporeal form. Being corporeal, for that matter, was on that list as well.

But Azazello did not care for any of those, quite the opposite in some of the cases. His service in Voland’s retinue was often nothing but pleasure; he enjoyed being embodied, the various sensations – even the ones humans considered unpleasant – were a source of variety for him. As for the holy symbols, he did not care about them; he was older than most of those still in use, he saw the power of many grow and fade across the centuries, so he could easily assume that none of the current ones would last – so why should he accept their power over him?

And yet, he was not free of dislikes and hatreds; he particularly hated one thing that was in abundance in the place he was sent to assist at – the noise of the people. And young people, or as they were called in this age, ‘adolescents’ or ‘teenagers’, were only a little bit less loud than small children.

 _‘Master sends me to assassinate those screamers far too rarely’_ , he mused with annoyance that grew with every moment he had to spend in the crowd. _‘I know that the elders are usually more important targets, more challenging enemies, and those… brats…’_ he looked with disgust at a mischief of schoolboys loudly bragging about some idiotic activity. _‘Those brats are “low priority, low risk” targets left to apprentices…_ ’ he let out an inarticulate growl; to his satisfaction, the boys looked at him with worry and moved behind the corner to continue. ‘ _As if the Master really needed me here, the witch and the charmer are doing just fine…’_

He crossed the courtyard and entered the school building via a service entrance. His presence here felt completely pointless – the students were cleaning the place by themselves, and all he had to do according to the person that introduced him to his duties – in replacement of the regular janitor that inexplicably fell ill – was to ‘maintain the infrastructure’. So here he was, on the lookout for any infrastructure in need of maintaining – and trying his best to avoid the louder groups of students.

 _‘Maybe I can take a few of those brats off this world, I’m sure it would make this place quieter…’_ he mused as another exclamation from some excited schoolgirl bit into his ears. _‘But no, Master’s will comes first, and we can’t have this operation messed up’_ , he concluded with a heavy sigh as he decided to check whether the school did not have some kind of a fortified shelter; such a place was likely to have _some_ sort of soundproofing, even if it was going to be coincidental.

***

The ambush Timmy spotted at the gate yesterday was there now, too. He let out a sigh – and took a step back to melt into shadows – only to notice a familiar face on a man crossing the courtyard; he usually avoided this particular demon, be it home or on operations, but he knew that weird fang, that balding head, and that cataracted eye all too well.

 _‘Doesn’t boss believe in us?’_ he mused, his pride hurt. _‘We just started, and they send someone to watch our moves?’_ he pondered as he took a step back into the bushes, not letting himself be seen by the faux maintenance guy. _‘On the other hand, maybe he’s just another vector… like, three pilots to watch, three pair of eyes… even if one of those eyes is somewhat broken?’_ he chuckled to himself. _‘I have to ask someone… I guess Natasha would know’_ , he decided and refocused on the matters of today. _‘Yoriko-chan, here I come’_ , he smiled to himself and took a step in the darker shadow behind the tree.

The ambush failed once more, increasing the despair of the three shy girls with a not-so-impeccable plan.

***

_Next morning_

“Hello, Ikari-kun”, Timmy approached the boy after surviving the first wave of attention and deflecting it towards the clearly happy Yorika Ueda, his yesterday date.

“Hi”, Shinji replied, his voice subdued. “I…” he tried before falling silent. “Never mind.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t want anything from you”, the newcomer reassured him. “You seemed… sad, though.”

“I’m sorry”, Shinji apologized, as was his habit. Timmy eyed him carefully, clearly waiting for a follow-up – but receiving none.

“If you want to talk, just say so”, he added in a soft tone.

“Thanks, but… I always worked it out alone”, Shinji replied.

 _‘Damn it'_ , Timmy remarked to himself. _‘I always was better with girls. Maybe Auset will have more luck with him.’_

***

_Two classes later_

“Get him on the bed, Auset!” Chisaki Toiguchi, the school nurse commanded as she eyed the boy that shuffled into the room, resting his arm on the shoulders of another. “What happened?” she asked as the intern nurse guided both newcomers; she had her suspicion, considering both boys were wearing P.E. uniforms, but getting details could be important, especially that the boy did not have any visible injury.

“I was inattentive”, the boy responded meekly as he sat on the narrow bed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry”, Chisaki’s response was almost automatic. “We’ll take care of you. What’s your name?”

“Ikari. Ikari Shinji”, the boy replied, his voice still low and pained.

Auset ears perked up immediately. _‘Oh. Lucky me’_ , she remarked to herself, trying her best to contain her enthusiasm on the chance to observe the boy. She retrieved the notepad and waited for further commands.

“What happened?” Chisaki kept inquiring in the meantime.

“Nothing. I didn’t dodge”, the boy shrugged and winced as the movement clearly caused him some pain.

“Bullshit”, the taller boy chimed in, his voice indignant. This one she remembered all too well – Touji Suzuhara, a regular in her office, a good athlete, and a boy with incorrigible rushing hands. The kind she reserved the extra thick needles in case of injections and the kind that made her regret that corporal punishments were discontinued; on the other hand, knowing him, he would likely _enjoy_ receiving it from her.

She shook this line of thinking off. “So, what happened, Suzuhara-kun?”

The boy visibly beamed at being recognized before composing himself and reporting. “The damned newcomer kicked the ball directly into Ikari’s chest”, he grumbled. “An inch more and it would’ve been his face. Bloody American.”

“He’s German”, Ikari boy remarked. “And it was not his fault.”

“That’s for the teacher to decide”, Chisaki declared. “Please remove your shirt, I must listen to your breathing”, she requested. “And you can go”, she addressed the taller boy.

“But I should bring him back?” he tried to protest.

“Either he’s fine in a few moments and can walk by himself, or he’s staying here for the rest of the class – or of the day”, Chisaki explained. “Either way, it is no reason for you to skip class. Thank you for bringing him. Now, please leave.”

“Yes, Toiguchi-sensei”, the boy sulked, shot Auset something that was likely supposed to be a flirty look, patted Ikari on the back – and left.

“Now”, Chisaki turned her attention to the boy. “Breathe deep”, she commanded as she put the stethoscope to his chest. The bruising was fresh and not too heavy, but it was clear that the ball hit rather hard. The redness of the ears was another of the boy’s symptoms to disregard; Chisaki was used to boys reacting to her like that. She did not realize that the reaction was actually the result of a sweet smile, cast at the boy behind the nurse’s back by her young charge. “Okay, your breathing seems fine…” she paused. “No sign of arrhythmia, either”, she concluded and gestured to Auset to make notes. “I need to check your ribs, though, so would you please lie down?”

“Yes, ma’am”, the boy nodded and followed her directions.

“Toiguchi-sama, can I do the check?” Auset chimed in. “I could use the practice.”

Chisaki’s brow furrowed. The girl had a point, but… “All right, but you understand I will double-check your diagnosis?”

“Of course, Toiguchi-sama”, the girl chirped.

“Go ahead, then”, Chisaki gestured.

Auset put the notepad away and approached the patient. “Don’t worry, Ikari-kun, I will be gentle”, she reassured him as she rubbed her palms together. “Ready?”

The boy nodded – and stifled a gasp as the warm hands touched his side. His blush turned incandescent.

“Did I hurt you, Ikari-kun?” Auset asked, her voice clearly worried.

“No, no, I’m fine, I just got surprised”, he rattled out, trying his best to control himself.

***

Shinji Ikari was not exactly a _stranger_ to a woman’s touch. After all, he was a subject to medical examinations in the past; he also suffered the unfortunate incident with Rei Ayanami a while ago. But there was touch and there was _touch_ – and while the young nurse’s ministrations were nothing but professional, there was _something_ in her warm hands and her caring expression that turned his skin to fire under her touch – and his brain to mush.

“Ikari-kun?”

“Y-yes?” he did his best to regain his focus.

“I asked you whether it hurts here”, the young nurse – nurse’s apprentice? – asked.

“Yes!” he blurted out. “I mean, no, it doesn’t”, he corrected himself.

“Ikari-kun? Please be honest”, she requested, her voice sounding like a long-forgotten, sweet melody from his childhood.

“It doesn’t, I’m fine”, he replied truthfully, his voice a bit hazy. His heart was racing and his breathing was rapid, but this had nothing to do with the accident. “It’s just a bit tender, nothing more.”

“All right”, the girl nodded. “And here?”

***

Chisaki watched the scene from two steps away, her will focused on not facepalming. Either the girl was unbelievably innocent and unaware of her influence – or she was consciously and actively torturing the boy. The former seemed more probable, though, considering her caring expression and the accompanying soft smile, not to mention her behavior towards Chisaki herself. She decided not to intervene – but she knew she definitely had to share a word with her afterward.

***

Auset, of course, was perfectly aware of what she was doing – and of the fact that the current situation spiraled a little bit out of control. She was also worried that this situation was starting to skirt the issue of consent: _technically_ , she was doing nothing wrong, just performing her medical duties – but she knew this was a bit off. Embarrassing – or at least mildly confusing – the boy was definitely necessary for him to lower his defenses so she could sink her probes in – but it worked better than she thought it would.

She could not read his mind – this was hardly her specialty, and pretty much beyond her skill – but it was also not necessary. His soul _screamed_ at her to a degree it was difficult to focus on the physical part of the examination. All the emotions and feelings: wistful loneliness that could easily make her cry, boiling carnal desired typical for a teenager, resignation to his situation that was slowly turning into apathy, sad awareness of his own inexperience in human relations that he saw no way of improving on – and the powerful, blinding dichotomy of the constant fear of rejection starkly contrasted by the sheer **need** to be just **close** to someone…

“[Enough, you showed me enough!]” she blurted out in a language nobody else in the room could understand as those final emotions proven to be too much to take in; it took her a few seconds to realize that both pair of eyes stare at her in confusion. “I’m sorry, Toiguichi-sama, Ikari-kun, I thought I hurt you. There seems to be something wrong here?” she indicated a spot near the solar plexus.

“Yes, the bruise”, the older nurse confirmed, her eyebrow raised. “Please step aside, I will examine him myself.”

Auset took a step back, her ears red. This was a mistake; she was lucky she had the habit of reverting to her native language in moments of stress: saying this in Japanese would have been not just embarrassing; it was more likely to be dangerous.

***

Chisaki Toiguchi completed the examination far quicker; under her hands, Shinji seemed to be less tense, even if his blush did not diminish at all.

“There seems to be no serious damage”, she concluded. “What you likely detected, Auset, was just the minor swelling, normal in such an injury”, she explained before turning to the boy. “I’ll keep you here for the rest of the PE class, and then you’re free to go.”

“Thank you, Toiguchi-sensei”, he nodded. “Can I dress?”

“Yes, please. Lie down for a while when you’re done, though, and please stay put”, she requested. “And you, please come with me”, she addressed Auset.

“Yes, Toiguichi-sama”, Auset confirmed in a small voice, her lips thin.

***

“What was _that_ , Auset?” Chisaka asked in a low voice the moment they were behind the door of the medical storage room.

“I’m sorry, Toiguichi-sama”, Auset dropped her eyes. “I thought I hurt him and… I panicked.”

Chisaka took a deep breath. She was somewhat angry at her: she seemed to have panicked doing a simple examination and could very well spook the patient – but the girl was also clearly penitent and remorseful. She shook her head. “Be careful next time, please. I can’t have you yell at patients, remember that, we are to be helpful here. What was that language, anyway?” she asked, trying not to sound too curious.

“ _Masri_ , Toiguichi-sama”, the girl replied. “A form of Arabic”, she explained.

“I thought you were Egyptian?” the older nurse blinked in confusion.

The girl up with confusion for a moment, her gaze still averted. “It’s a complicated and contentious matter sometimes, but Egypt has been Arabic for a while, Toiguichi-sama. We have been speaking the language for over a thousand years now”, she explained. “We don’t use hieroglyphs anymore, too”, she quipped, carefully testing the waters, aware that her charm should be slowly taking hold on the older woman again.

“Of course”, Chisaka shook her head. “I get it. Now, please promise me you’ll control yourself better next time?” she made the strongest demand she could force herself to make at the girl.

“Yes, Toiguichi-sama”, the girl finally looked her in the eye, her gaze cheerful. “I will do my best”, she added her soft smile to that equation – and the rest of Chisaka’s anger evaporated, replaced by the thought of _‘I need to call my boyfriend today as well’_ and a growing awareness of how close she was standing to her young charge. It was starting to get dangerously warm in the room.

“All right. Let’s check on the boy, then”, she ordered. _‘Before I say or do something stupid…’_

***

_Later that afternoon_

“{Hello, Timmy}”, the redhead’s voice speaking in very proper German caught him as he was about to leave the school building on the way to his next date. “{Got a minute?}”

“{Sure}”, he nodded, replying in kind. “{How can I serve the fair lady?}” he smiled.

“{Cut the crap, Casanova}”, she demanded, but not without a smile. “{I know you’re in a hurry for another date, so I’ll make it snappy: keep off Ikari’s back for now, okay?}”

“Soryu-san?” he tilted his head, surprise in his voice.

“{You can call me Asuka when we’re talking the language of normal people. It’s a welcome change, I’m going nuts over this ‘whom to address by the last name and who is a friend enough to use the first name’. I miss calling the cooler teachers by their firsts}”, she let out a sigh before narrowing her eyes at him and regaining a more serious tone of her voice. “{I saw you talking to him. The fact I’m not fawning over you doesn’t mean I’m blind to the wind you’re sowing here. Listen: I don’t **care** if you want to date him or take him to arcades or maybe just talk – but take my advice: leave him for a few days}”, she requested in a calm and certain voice. “{He’s got a rather somber day ahead of him, and you don’t want to mess with that.}”

“{Since when you’re so protective of him?}” Timmy raised an eyebrow, his tone – and his smirk – mocking.

“{And since when you’re not fond of having both of your balls?}” she retorted, her voice calm in a way Timmy sometimes heard from the witches when one of them was particularly annoyed.

“{Okay, I get your point}”, he chuckled. There was no reason to escalate the conflict, not yet. “{Thanks for the info. When can I talk to him safely?}”

“{Next week should be fine}”, Asuka replied. “{And if a single word of our lovely conversation reaches him…}”

“{You’ll rip my balls off and use them for fishing?}” Timmy finished for her with an amused expression.

“{Something like that. Or maybe I’ll slip a word or two about why your father had to move here, far from some other country, and it would be about you}”, she supplemented while studying her own nails. “{Same happens if you ever hurt him again. I’ll just call what happened today on the field an accident… and a line you should not cross. Got it?}”

“{I don’t like this level of threats, Asuka. Jokes about balls are fine, but I don’t like… this}”, he narrowed his eyes, his smile suddenly gone, his voice turning cold. “{And I don’t like your attitude.}”

“{And I don’t like misunderstandings}”, she retorted, refocusing her cold, blue eyes on him. “{I don’t care about the streak of broken hearts you leave behind, they’re asking for it by throwing themselves on you – but be careful **whose** you break. Questions?}”

“{I don’t think we’re going to be friends}”, he remarked, his voice displeased.

“{Oh, I’m crying, _darling_ }”, she retorted, her voice an open mockery. “{I don’t need any more friends}”, she declared, her voice sharp and serious again. “{And I know people like you. I know your kind likes to have your boundaries clear… or at least ticks better when they are clear. So I set them for you, to save you the effort. Know my grace. So, any questions?}”

“{None, Asuka. Have a nice day}”, he replied with a smirk.

“{Oh, I will}”, she smiled a crooked smile at him. “{Bye!}”

His eyes followed the silhouette of the redhead as she joined two other girls on the way out.

 _‘People like me… I wonder how you know so much about them, Asuka?’_ he smirked. _‘Boss will want to hear about that, they’re going to love this. But first, Momoko-chan needs some attention… but first, one more thing’_ he decided as he took a step back – and walked from behind a tree a few dozen streets away.

***

“Good afternoon, Ayanami”, Timmy addressed the blue-haired girl as she walked into a side alley.

“Why are you following me, Siebel-kun?” the girl asked without any surprise in her eyes.

“I’m not _following_ you, I was here first”, he retorted.

“This is irrelevant”, she countered. “There is no reason for you to be here except your interest in me. Why is that?”

The boy’s eyebrows rose. “I could be sightseeing.”

“You’re not interested in places. Judging from your choice of date venues, you know the city already. You are interested in people. I am the only other person here. Therefore, it is logical to assume that you are here because you are interested in me”, Rei explained her reasoning.

Timmy blinked in surprise. This was the longest statement he heard Rei Ayanami speak since he met her. To his slight horror, she was also quite right in her assessment.

“Is it wrong of me to follow you?” he changed his approach, his voice inquisitive.

“It is not”, she replied, her expression still unchanged. “But it is unusual and if it continues, I will be bound to report it to NERV.”

“Why?” Timmy tilted his head.

“It is the procedure”, she explained. He waited for her to continue – but she just kept looking at him, unmoving, her blinking and breathing being the only indicators that he is not facing a wax figure.

“And what if I do it because I’m curious of you? Is this unusual?” he finally asked.

“Yes”, she replied. Once more, she did not follow up on her reply despite his waiting.

“I’m sorry to have disturbed you, then”, he bowed.

“You did not”, she replied. “There is no need for an apology. Were you asked to follow me?” she suddenly asked.

Timmy’s face expressed his surprise immediately. “No”, he shook his head; he was telling the truth, of course, stretched as it was: he was asked to _gather information about her_ , but him _following her_ was entirely out of his own initiative. “I am… curious. I mean, you don’t behave like other girls in the class.”

“I know”, she replied. He could _swear_ there was a note of sadness in that statement, but reading the girl’s reaction was nigh impossible, even with his sense of empathy. Most girls were like open books for him, most boys were like books with somewhat faded print. Reading Rei Ayanami was like trying to read a book that was waterlogged for a decade, dried, and then left out in the sun for another ten years – or, to use more modern parlance, printed using almost empty ink cartridge on an off-white paper. But there was _something_ there, something he could–

“You are going to be late for your date if we keep talking”, her words interrupted his reverie. “It is considered rude to be late.”

“I think I should be fine”, he smiled. “I can talk to you for a few more minutes and still be on time.”

“Your date is in twenty-five minutes at Odama Café”, she stated. “It is about ten minutes’ walk from the school. We are twenty minutes from the school, but in a nearly opposite direction. If you start running now, you are likely not to be late.”

“I’ll take a bus”, he waved his hand, trying his best to conceal his small bout of panic and a wave of irritation washing over him. He did not anticipate the basic problem – while he was watching, he was also being watched. _‘Damn. She’s not as absent-minded as I thought…’_

“There is no direct connection that would make this advantageous. The bus lines are sparse in this part of the city”, she stated, her voice impassionate. “This is why I walk. You are being dishonest with me, Siebel-kun. Why?”

 _‘Fuck’_ , he clenched his jaw. _‘Time for the sincere apology maneuver’_ , he realized. “I’m sorry”, he bowed his head. “You’re right. I am curious about you, and I was afraid you would not want to talk with me in school. So I wanted to talk to you alone. I made sure I will not be late”, he reassured her. “But if I’m making you uncomfortable, please accept my apology.”

“There is no need to apologize, Siebel-kun”, Rei repeated. “But I see no reason for you to be curious about me. I’m not someone you could date”, she stated matter-of-factly; once more, he could swear there was sadness in her words, but washed down so much that it was perceptible only against the otherwise emotionless tone. “I will be on my way. Please do not follow me any further”, she started to turn away.

“Of course, Ayanami-san”, he agreed. “Will you answer me one more – well, two more questions – first?”

“Yes. What are they?” she stopped.

“You act very differently from other girls. Are you happy with the results of that behavior?” he asked.

Rei tilted her head, her expression suggesting mild confusion. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”

 _‘Damn it, it’s like talking to one of the older demons. I could very well be speaking **Greek** to her and it would make very little difference…’_ he mused as he managed to subdue his own expression of confusion. He shook that thought off; there was going to be enough time to muse over that later. “Of course it does. This is why I’m asking”, he smiled. “Thank you for your answer, Ayanami-san. I will see you in school.”

“You said ‘two questions’”, she remarked.

“Ah. Yes”, he chuckled. “That was for the case if you’d say ‘you already did’… never mind. I have nothing more to ask of you, well, not right now. Thank you for your time.”

“Goodbye”, she replied and turned away.

Timmy let out a sigh as he watched her walk past him and disappear behind the corner.

 _‘Boss won’t be happy… but at least I learned **something**. Let’s focus on asking **about** them, now. Lucky for me, the other girls are quite talkative if you are willing to listen’,_ he concluded as he stepped into the shadows.

***

It was already dark when the boy emerged from the shadows cast by the ruined elements of the terrace; mere seconds after his arrival, a young woman in a nurse overcoat flew in, landed gracefully, and dismounted a plastic broom that looked like it was borrowed from the school storage.

Voland, clad in robes darker than the surrounding night, their face lit only by the lights of the city below, gave each of the two a long glance in turn.

“Report.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, the school drama continues. The next update (planned for 2021-04-01) will, once more, take a closer look at NERV.


End file.
